Truly--Part 7

Stephen continues...


     Eight years earlier I was carrying an engagement ring in my pocket waiting for Jennifer to come visit for Christmas where I planned to ask her to be my wife. She said yes and six months later we were happily married. Though I loved and treasured her with all my heart some times you don’t know what you have until you are faced with losing it. I was horrified the night before at that thought, the four young children already at home who needed their mother and now one who very much needed our prayers. The Lord had given Jennifer to us once, & now He was allowing us to keep her. She was still unconscious in the ICU but we were told by the doctors that they were keeping her that way until the breathing tube was removed. We were only allowed in the ICU for ten minutes at a time to see her and only three times a day. This made for very long days.
     Upstairs in the NICU our little treasure was fighting hard. The first day the doctors were very encouraging explaining all of the tests that were being run. Still, it seemed they were holding back some of what I felt they were wanting to say. We were free to come and go in the NICU and spent much of our time there. However I had been warned about the cell phone being on in the room and we were in the middle of a snow storm at home. With me in Iowa City I had to rely on my 16 year old brother, my cousin, and several friends to push the snow we were contracted to remove.
     My parents headed home later Thursday evening while Jenn’s parents stayed with me. Another night cramped in the ICU waiting room trying to get comfortable enough to get some sleep. Friday evening they let Jenn wake up but the tube remained in her throat. We were only able to communicate with yes or no questions. We tried to catch her up on the condition of Truly which ,unfortunately, was ever changing. The doctors had gotten results back from some of the tests. The outlook was beginning to turn in a different direction. They told us that they were beginning to see problems with her intestinal tract and that there were going to be more tests to run. Of course this meant more waiting.
     Saturday morning we met with Jenn’s doctor and he gave us the good news that later in the day they would be removing the breathing tube. Not yet sure how long we were going to have Truly, My mother with some friends brought our other children up to see their new sister. Jenn’s parents were then going to take the kids on up to Wisconsin and keep them as long as they needed. Excited about getting to see the kids I went in to see Jenn and tell her what was going on. Tube still in her throat and tears in her eyes she let me know she didn’t want the kids to see her in this condition. When the kids arrived we took them to see Truly and we were about to say our good byes when they let us know they had just removed Jenn’s breathing tube. Jenn was conscious, and again able to communicate. The Lord is ever with us.


Jenn back writing again....
     I vividly remember two things after my surgery.  I remember cracking my eyelids open to see 2 doctors standing at the end of  my bed talking.  They saw me and said "Go back to sleep".  So I did.  I then remember waking up in what I would come to find out was the surgical wing of the ICU.  My first realization was that there was a large plastic tube in my mouth and going down my throat.  My super sensitive gag reflex kicked in and I started to panic. The attending nurse asked, "Oh, are you coughing?". I wanted to scream, "No, I'm gagging!" but couldn't.  I was able to settle down and look around me.  I felt pretty good, not too sleepy but a little worn out.  Stephen soon came in to see me, as did my mom and dad. I was very happy to see them all.  They showed me a picture of my little Truly that the nurses had hung on the bulletin board for me.  I wanted to see her so badly. 
     There are not many details of my three days in the ICU, because I slept through most of them.  On the second day, they tested to see if they could take out the breathing tube, but decided to leave it in a little longer.  I was anxious to be rid of it.  I craved a glass of water in the worst way. Occasionally the nurses would swab out my mouth with some nasty tasting mouth wash and then coat my lips with Vaseline. Yuk.  When I would move at all in bed, the tube would move too, so I learned to bite down on it with my front teeth to stabilize it.  I learned to communicate with hand signals, since there were IV needles in both hands making it hard to write. I can remember being very nervous about a new nurse who was being trained on me.  I hoped she knew what to do in an emergency. Finally, on the last morning, a whole team of doctors and interns came to my bedside and took out the tube (I'll spare you those nasty details).  As they were walking away, one asked, "What is your name?".  I croaked out "Jennifer", and we all smiled.  My kids were there that morning (being taken from one caretaker to go with  my parents to Wisconsin).  It was so great to see them!  I so badly wanted to go see Truly and hoped I would be able to soon.  I had been told by other moms who had preemie babies in the past how important skin-to-skin contact is for a preemie, especially with their mom.  I wanted to be there for her.
     On Saturday, I was moved to a real hospital room.  It was so great to be in a real bed.  My mother-in-law came to stay with me since Stephen had to go home to work over the weekend.  We had fun watching the Hallmark channel.  I still was not able to get out of bed.  I had inflated "stockings" on my legs to keep clots from forming, so I wasn't very mobile.  It felt like my legs were breathing.
     I believe that it was also on Saturday that several doctors came to visit me.  One of them was very quiet and told me that he was the doctor that had done my surgery-- Doctor Goodheart, and yes, this man does have a good heart!  He told me about the surgery and what had gone on. I think he visited me almost every day while I was there. I was told about the hysterectomy and all the bleeding.  They had to tie off two of my arteries in my legs to stop the blood flow.  That explained the "breathing" machine on my legs!
    

     The days passed and I was eventually strong enough to go to the NICU and see Truly.  We had to maneuver all of my tubes and IV's into a wheel chair.  It was such a precious moment to see her there for the first time. She was so much smaller than I could have imagined.  My arms ached to hold her, but with her condition, she had to be left lying.  I was a little troubled about the respirator.  It sounded like a model T and seemed to even rock the bed frame where she was lying.  The nurse explained about the special machine and assured me that it didn't bother her. I was exhausted and couldn't stay long, but promised to return soon.
     Many questions lingered in my mind concerning Truly.  There had been hope at the beginning that things were better than originally thought.  I wondered how long she would have to be there.  Would I be able to stay there with her? I really felt that we needed to get our life back to normal, but how soon that would be was still up in the air.