Avoiding the after Christmas blahs....

     Yes, it's that time of year when everyone is having a party and you are invited. All that sugar and cream cheese and candy starts to take its toll on you and by New Years, you wonder why everyone is sick. Of course, when crowds of people get together, there is bound to be a virus floating around, but there are some things you can do to avoid what I call the "After Christmas Blahs".

#1.  Try to keep the sugar to a minimum. We all love to show off our culinary skills this time of year, and all of those traditional recipes are loaded with sugar.  Every gift you receive has something sweet in it.  When you are at a party or get together, don't load your plate with sweets.  Maybe try one or two of them so you don't overdo it. Even the drinks are loaded with sugar and will give you a high that will make you feel great at first, and then drop you later.  Remember that white flour, corn, potatoes and white rice also turn to sugar in your system, adding to the problem.  Some of the signs of sugar overdose are: dry mouth, dizziness, sleepy or sluggish feeling, and a  headache on your forehead.  Some things you can do to quickly bring your blood sugar under control are: drink a large glass of water, take a jog ( or some other form of exercise),  or eat some protein (nuts, eggs, cheese, meat). Cinnamon is also great for  regulating blood sugar.  Take a 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon in unsweetened apple sauce to help keep your levels normal.  My mother-in-law also gave me another suggestion.  She is freezing some of the holiday candies that she was given and saving them for later so she doesn't overdose on them now!

#2.  Eat something raw with the meal.  Those veggie trays are there for a purpose.  Eating something raw with all of that junk will add some raw enzymes to your digestive juices to keep things working. You will also benefit from the antioxidants that will keep your immunities up!  Carrots, celery and raw broccoli are also great sources of fiber to keep things running smoothly.

#3. Prepare for battle. You know that there are viruses and bacteria floating around you, so get your body ready to fight.  Start taking Vitamin C to boost your immunity.  If you feel like you are about to come down with something, start taking nature's own antibiotic: Garlic.  Taking 2 or 3 pills (Kyolic is a good brand at Walmart, doesn't make you smell like you have been eating garlic!) a day will help your body fend off the sickness and may even end one that has already started.  If you feel a sore throat coming on, drink hot tea with honey. The honey will soothe your throat, and the "hot" will help to kill the infection. Salt water is also a great virus killer. Gargling  with it (1 tsp. salt per 1 cup water) or using it in a nasal spray will fend off an infection and will quickly dry up mucous.

#4. Take advantage of your vacation time. In other words: RELAX.  Take that extra nap or sleep in some of the mornings.  We all stay up and out too late during this time of the year.  Not getting enough sleep is another way to make you more prone to illnesses.  If your body is tired, it doesn't have the energy to fight and it won't. 
 
#5 Fill your plate with better choices. Bean dip and salsa with corn chips is better than potato chips and sour cream dip.  Whole grain crackers and cheese will fill you up and keep you filled up much better than chocolate cake and ice cream.  Veggies and fruit will keep you energized and healthier and won't drag you down like punch and cookies.  Keep the sweets to a minimum and fill up on the better choices.

#6.  Watch out for food poisoning.  That crab salad or pasta dish may have been sitting on the table for an hour or more.  Be careful.  Mayonnaise can go bad very quickly.  If you are the hostess, place salads like these on ice so they can stay cold. We are very careful about paying attention to this in the summertime because of the heat, but when you get a large group of people in one area, the room can get just as warm as summer heat!  Make sure that food is properly cooked to the correct temperatures.  According to guidelines for safe food handling, meat dishes need to be cooled as quickly as possible.  Consider the food you serve if you are going to something where you know it will be sitting out for awhile. 

#7.  Don't gorge yourself.  Eat slowly, and chew your food completely.  When you feel satisfied, stop eating.  It is at these times of the year that the food is out all evening and we keep grazing the entire time and make ourselves miserable later.  If your stomach is too full, it can't do its job and you will end up feeling sick and possibly even getting sick.  Use a smaller plate (it tricks your brain into thinking you are eating a lot!), take tiny portions if you must try everything, and don't stand near the food!  If it is out of your line of sight, you will be less tempted to grab some!


     Of course, even when taking all of these steps, there will still be sickness floating around.  But, we may be able to avoid some of the down time by making smarter choices and being prepared for sickness to come.  Who knows, maybe you will be one of those who don't get it this year!

  

Truly--Conclusion

     Friday, December 13th, 2007 dawned and the sun was bright.  We had slept well, despite the heaviness in our hearts. We knew that today was the day that was bringing everything to culmination.  We wanted to be there for the doctor's consultation in the morning so we got up and had breakfast and headed to Truly's room. 
     I kept wondering how in the world I could ever tell the doctors what we had decided.  It choked me up just to think of it.  It really was a heavy burden on my heart, but I knew when the time came, the Lord would give me strength.  As the doctors walked in, I swallowed hard and got ready to speak.  At that moment my wonderful, strong, usually quiet husband stood up, addressed the doctor, and said "From what we understand, the surgery is only exploratory and Truly would most likely not survive it. We would just rather spend her last moments with her."  So it was decided that we would unhook her from the respirator that afternoon.  Those words, and the strength it took to say them, made my husband my hero for life and increased my respect for him ten fold.
     So, we called my parents. They were 4 hours away and thought they could be there by 3 p.m.  We planned to meet back at Truly's room after some lunch.  A family from our church stopped by to visit.  We were happy to see them and receive the encouragement we needed from them.  Mutual tears flowed as we told them about what was going on that day. I think they felt bad that they came to visit that day, but we were encouraged by their thoughtfulness.
     I was very nervous about that afternoon.  I had never seen anyone die before. I hoped that Truly would have no pain or show any sign of discomfort.  I wondered how long she would stay alive.  There were so many questions that would soon be answered.

     After lunch, we went back up to Truly's room.  The doctors came in and started to unhook the machines from her.  They were very gentle with her. They then placed her in my arms for the very first time.

All of her two and half pounds seemed like nothing as I gazed at her.  I was finally able to hug her, kiss her, smell that "new baby" scent. 
     There was not a dry eye in the room.  Stephen's mom and dad were there, as well one of his brothers and my parents.  The nurses and doctors gave us our privacy and left the room. This was a very private time for us together as a family.  Some unique things happened in that room, but they are personal memories. If you were standing outside the door that day, you would have heard much crying, yet also praying, normal conversation and yes, even some laughter.  We did not have to sorrow.  We knew we were seeing her off to the heavenly shore.  Our hearts were sorrowful to be parted from her, but we rejoiced that she was going to be with the One we loved.  It took about an hour. Each member of the family present in the room got to hold her during that time. We didn't know the exact moment when it took place but, she passed quietly into the arms of Jesus. Her little eyes that had never opened here on earth were now gazing upon our Saviour.  To think that  Heaven was the first thing she ever saw really moves me.
                                  "But just think of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven.

Of touching a hand and finding it God's

Of breathing new air and finding it celestial

Of waking up in glory, and finding it home."



Her little feet that never walked were now running and leaping on streets of gold.  Her little hands were no longer deformed and were serving her Lord.  Her voice that never spoke on this earth was now singing praises to the Lamb. What a glorious reunion that must have been.  It often brings me comfort to think of the people that greeted her there.  Perhaps her great grandmas and grandpas met her there at the gate, or her uncle, or some of the saints from our church. 

     As we left her room that day, we were emotionally exhausted.  I will never forget as long as I live seeing one of her regular doctors also wiping tears from her eyes.  She had come to love Truly as well and could feel our pain.

     We returned to her room later that night to discuss plans with the mortician.  The nurses had cleaned Truly and put a delicately crocheted gown on her. She looked so beautiful.  As we left the room, I glanced back and noticed the spot where there was usually a placard with her name on it.  They had replaced it with a picture of a butterfly.  What an appropriate picture of the transformation that had taken place.  She had passed from death to life, from imperfection to perfect beauty and had taken her flight up to heaven.

     We arrived home the next day.  Again friends had come in and not only cleaned up the house, but dug around in our storage area, found and set up our Christmas tree and decorations.  We met with the funeral director and  planned her funeral for the next week.  Stephen and I are both from rather large families.  All of our siblings had made plans months before this to be available for the Christmas holiday at this time of the year.  It wasn't just fate that allowed this to happen. Our loving Heavenly Father knew that it would be important for all of our family members to be there.  A sister from Washington D.C., a sister and family who were missionaries to Mexico, siblings from Illinois and North Carolina were all able to be present there with us.

    The morning of her funeral, we met as a family for a private viewing in one of the Sunday school rooms of the church.  The little children ran in and right up to Truly's casket, almost knocking her right out of it.  We had told them we were going to see Truly and they didn't quite understand. They turned around to see all of us crying and started crying themselves.  The hardest part of all of this that we went through was having young children have to go through the grieving process.  Their little minds have trouble comprehending the concept of heaven and the soul.  They had so many questions that we couldn't answer.  They often dealt with the problem in their own way. I remember seeing Sidney (then 6) and Charity (then 3) sitting down with their arms around each other. Charity was crying and I asked what was wrong. Sidney answered "We were playing that we had a baby die".  Oh, how that smote me to the heart, but I came to realize that playtime helps children prepare for real life. They had to play out the scenario to better understand it.

     The funeral service was beautiful.  I think most of our church family was able to be there as well.  We had asked a dear friend of ours to be the pallbearer. Her casket was so tiny, we only needed one.  Our friends sang "Safe in the Arms of Jesus" and "Finally Home".  Both of our dads preached the service.  It was beautiful.  The graveside was here in our hometown.  We stood in the snow and place her body in the ground.  Our kids placed flowers there. 

     To understand the next part of the story, I'll have to give a little background. Stephen runs his own business which includes lawn care and snow removal. His biggest contract is for a factory near us.  Each year, this factory, instead of throwing a Christmas party, chooses a Christmas family and donates money for that family.  To put it bluntly, we came home from the funeral, one of the hardest days for the kids especially, and saw this:

They had chosen us as their Christmas family. Even though Christmas was over a week away, we let the kids open the gifts: clothes and more toys than they could even imagine.  There was even grocery money and gift certificates.  We had been more than blessed.  And what perfect timing to have delivered this surprise.

     There is so much more that I could tell you about.  We were inundated with sympathy cards and letters, many from strangers that we didn't even know who told us of their prayers for us.  God provided a way for us to get a beautiful headstone at a fraction of the usual cost.  So many things that He did to prove over and over His goodness to us.

     We originally chose the name "Truly Hope" because we knew that there is always hope with the Lord.  We were encouraged and given new hope when she was born and it appeared that the problems first expected were not as severe.  Yet, even in death, there is hope. We know that we will see her again someday when we take our own flight to heaven.  There is true hope only in Christ.

      We have not written this story to boast or brag.  We don't know why the Lord chose us to go through this trial.  We only want people to know how good our God is.  So many little details that He orchestrated to happen that enriched our lives and gave us confidence in our relationship with Him.  Our own faith is so frail.  There were times that the waves seemed like they would overwhelm us and the wind would capsize our tiny ship.  The lightning and the thunder often caused us to cower in fear.  Yet, the Anchor of our soul was sure and steadfast. He was always there when we cried out for help. We know without a doubt that our God is good, and He sent the storm to make us strong.

   

 "....I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.  When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel........."  Isaiah 43:1-3

" Truly God is good...." Psalm 73:1

To the glory of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ:

Stephen and Jennifer Deatrick

whataileththee@gmail.com

Truly--Part 8

    I would be remiss if I did not tell you about the excellent care that Truly was receiving.  The first time I was able to go see her, the attending nurse told me about everything that was connected to her and how it was helping her.  Every monitor and device had a purpose, and I was able to learn what everything was for. Every nurse was extremely confident in what he/she was doing.  I could tell from the way that they cared for her with such delicacy, yet such experience. They told  me that she was rather feisty and didn't like certain things that they did.  If she was "bothered" she would kick her legs defiantly! We were also very confident in the team of doctors in the NICU. From the first day that they knew what it was, they referred to her by name. She was never called "the baby" or "your daughter", to them she was always Truly. They had a consultation every morning among all the doctors that were caring for her and they let Stephen and I be a part of it.  Nothing was hidden or kept from us. We knew all that was going on. Before every test and scan we were informed of what the purpose was and afterwards what the results were. 
 

     One of our favorite memories of Truly happened after one such test.  We walked into her room one evening and noticed something different--quiet.  They had put her on a different respirator so she could be moved for one of her scans and they had not put her back on the "Model T" yet.  We went to our usual spot near her and talk to her and spend some time with her.  She was much more active that evening.  Her eyes were moving behind her eyelids and she seemed to know we were there.  It was getting very late and we had to return to my room so Stephen said "Well, Truly, we need to go to bed. We're tired. Goodnight, sweetheart". At that moment, as if on cue, Truly yawned.  What a precious memory!
     The doctors over my care had graciously moved me from my room in the surgery recovery wing over to the OB wing so I could be just around the corner from Truly.  It had a double bed so that Stephen could sleep better (chairs are not too comfortable!).  I have such precious memories of those few days we had together talking a laughing and spending time with Truly.
      By now, I was getting stronger by the day.  I was eating normal food and had actually taken a shower (heavenly!).  By Wednesday evening, all of my "tubes" had been removed.  The head nurse came in to tell me that they were supposed to discharge me that evening.  However, there was an extreme ice storm going on outside.  The "hotel" in the hospital (for families of long term patients) was full and the conditions outside were deadly, so she informed me that I was officially discharged, but they would let us stay in the room that night so we had somewhere to sleep. The next morning, we inquired  if there were any rooms available in the hotel and there was one available.  What a great service to those who need it.  It was only $15/night and just as nice as any Holiday Inn we had ever stayed in.  Stephen's mom and dad decided to stay with us.  We were to have a consultation with another doctor and we had some decisions to make concerning Truly.  A surgeon met with us and told us about an exploratory surgery that they could try. Basically, after doing several tests, they concluded that there really were no intestines in her body. The exploratory surgery would just confirm that. The surgeon made it very clear that the chances of her even surviving the surgery were very slim.  Some other problems had arisen.  The feeding tube that was sustaining her could usually be kept in for months, but where hers was, her leg was beginning to swell with some sort of infection. Her skin seemed to have taken on somewhat of a yellowish tint.  I knew in my heart that she was failing.
     We went out to eat that evening and it was like I had been given a new lease on life.  The trees were covered with ice from the storm and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  The Christmas lights seemed dim in comparison to the light reflected in the trees. As we were eating, we got a few stares.  I had packed an open necked shirt in my bag in preparation.  As mentioned before, I had huge purple and black bruises on my neck and shoulder.  People looked compassionately at me, but stared daggers at Stephen!  We also went shopping and got some other clothes to get us through the next few days.  I also picked out a pretty pink blanket for Truly.
        I had, in the past, always had a skeptic outlook on doctor's decisions.  I knew (and still know) that there are doctors out there who just prescribe medicines and treatments to cover up symptoms, instead of treating the actual source of the problem.  The Lord knows me so well.  He took care of my doubts in a very special way.  My parents live in Wisconsin.  On one particular evening, they were watching the 10 p.m. news and at the end of the broadcast, the new reporter told a story about some doctors from the University of Iowa Hospital NICU team.  The night of the deadly ice storm, these doctors heard about a preemie that had been born a few hours away, but because of the storm could not be moved. These doctors risked their lives to go to the other hospital to give that baby the care he needed.  It wasn't just by chance that the Milwaukee station aired that story.  My dad called me the next day and told me about the story and said "Jenn, you can trust these doctors." My Lord knew I needed to hear those words.  I still weep when I think of how good God is in doing that just for me.
      As we went to bed that night, our hearts were heavy.  The words were not spoken, but we knew that Truly's time was near.  It was up to us to decide how that would be. It was quite a burden to think that we had to  make that decision in the morning when we met with the doctors again.

Truly--Part 7

Stephen continues...


     Eight years earlier I was carrying an engagement ring in my pocket waiting for Jennifer to come visit for Christmas where I planned to ask her to be my wife. She said yes and six months later we were happily married. Though I loved and treasured her with all my heart some times you don’t know what you have until you are faced with losing it. I was horrified the night before at that thought, the four young children already at home who needed their mother and now one who very much needed our prayers. The Lord had given Jennifer to us once, & now He was allowing us to keep her. She was still unconscious in the ICU but we were told by the doctors that they were keeping her that way until the breathing tube was removed. We were only allowed in the ICU for ten minutes at a time to see her and only three times a day. This made for very long days.
     Upstairs in the NICU our little treasure was fighting hard. The first day the doctors were very encouraging explaining all of the tests that were being run. Still, it seemed they were holding back some of what I felt they were wanting to say. We were free to come and go in the NICU and spent much of our time there. However I had been warned about the cell phone being on in the room and we were in the middle of a snow storm at home. With me in Iowa City I had to rely on my 16 year old brother, my cousin, and several friends to push the snow we were contracted to remove.
     My parents headed home later Thursday evening while Jenn’s parents stayed with me. Another night cramped in the ICU waiting room trying to get comfortable enough to get some sleep. Friday evening they let Jenn wake up but the tube remained in her throat. We were only able to communicate with yes or no questions. We tried to catch her up on the condition of Truly which ,unfortunately, was ever changing. The doctors had gotten results back from some of the tests. The outlook was beginning to turn in a different direction. They told us that they were beginning to see problems with her intestinal tract and that there were going to be more tests to run. Of course this meant more waiting.
     Saturday morning we met with Jenn’s doctor and he gave us the good news that later in the day they would be removing the breathing tube. Not yet sure how long we were going to have Truly, My mother with some friends brought our other children up to see their new sister. Jenn’s parents were then going to take the kids on up to Wisconsin and keep them as long as they needed. Excited about getting to see the kids I went in to see Jenn and tell her what was going on. Tube still in her throat and tears in her eyes she let me know she didn’t want the kids to see her in this condition. When the kids arrived we took them to see Truly and we were about to say our good byes when they let us know they had just removed Jenn’s breathing tube. Jenn was conscious, and again able to communicate. The Lord is ever with us.


Jenn back writing again....
     I vividly remember two things after my surgery.  I remember cracking my eyelids open to see 2 doctors standing at the end of  my bed talking.  They saw me and said "Go back to sleep".  So I did.  I then remember waking up in what I would come to find out was the surgical wing of the ICU.  My first realization was that there was a large plastic tube in my mouth and going down my throat.  My super sensitive gag reflex kicked in and I started to panic. The attending nurse asked, "Oh, are you coughing?". I wanted to scream, "No, I'm gagging!" but couldn't.  I was able to settle down and look around me.  I felt pretty good, not too sleepy but a little worn out.  Stephen soon came in to see me, as did my mom and dad. I was very happy to see them all.  They showed me a picture of my little Truly that the nurses had hung on the bulletin board for me.  I wanted to see her so badly. 
     There are not many details of my three days in the ICU, because I slept through most of them.  On the second day, they tested to see if they could take out the breathing tube, but decided to leave it in a little longer.  I was anxious to be rid of it.  I craved a glass of water in the worst way. Occasionally the nurses would swab out my mouth with some nasty tasting mouth wash and then coat my lips with Vaseline. Yuk.  When I would move at all in bed, the tube would move too, so I learned to bite down on it with my front teeth to stabilize it.  I learned to communicate with hand signals, since there were IV needles in both hands making it hard to write. I can remember being very nervous about a new nurse who was being trained on me.  I hoped she knew what to do in an emergency. Finally, on the last morning, a whole team of doctors and interns came to my bedside and took out the tube (I'll spare you those nasty details).  As they were walking away, one asked, "What is your name?".  I croaked out "Jennifer", and we all smiled.  My kids were there that morning (being taken from one caretaker to go with  my parents to Wisconsin).  It was so great to see them!  I so badly wanted to go see Truly and hoped I would be able to soon.  I had been told by other moms who had preemie babies in the past how important skin-to-skin contact is for a preemie, especially with their mom.  I wanted to be there for her.
     On Saturday, I was moved to a real hospital room.  It was so great to be in a real bed.  My mother-in-law came to stay with me since Stephen had to go home to work over the weekend.  We had fun watching the Hallmark channel.  I still was not able to get out of bed.  I had inflated "stockings" on my legs to keep clots from forming, so I wasn't very mobile.  It felt like my legs were breathing.
     I believe that it was also on Saturday that several doctors came to visit me.  One of them was very quiet and told me that he was the doctor that had done my surgery-- Doctor Goodheart, and yes, this man does have a good heart!  He told me about the surgery and what had gone on. I think he visited me almost every day while I was there. I was told about the hysterectomy and all the bleeding.  They had to tie off two of my arteries in my legs to stop the blood flow.  That explained the "breathing" machine on my legs!
    

     The days passed and I was eventually strong enough to go to the NICU and see Truly.  We had to maneuver all of my tubes and IV's into a wheel chair.  It was such a precious moment to see her there for the first time. She was so much smaller than I could have imagined.  My arms ached to hold her, but with her condition, she had to be left lying.  I was a little troubled about the respirator.  It sounded like a model T and seemed to even rock the bed frame where she was lying.  The nurse explained about the special machine and assured me that it didn't bother her. I was exhausted and couldn't stay long, but promised to return soon.
     Many questions lingered in my mind concerning Truly.  There had been hope at the beginning that things were better than originally thought.  I wondered how long she would have to be there.  Would I be able to stay there with her? I really felt that we needed to get our life back to normal, but how soon that would be was still up in the air.

Truly-- Part 6

    
I'll let Stephen tell the next part of the story since I was unconscious for 3 days....


   Truly Hope was born soon after that, Jennifer resting in the arms of our Lord, and in the care of a small army of great doctors. For the next two hours I sat there alone crouched on the floor listening to the commotion just on the other side of a seemingly thin wall. Tears flowing down my cheeks I was begging God for His help. The Lord has never placed me in a situation that He hasn’t given me the grace or strength to withstand. All alone in a long delivery room waiting, hoping, praying. The occasional nurse would stick her head in the door while passing to ask if I was alright. I would just shrug my shoulders as though I was ok. In reality, I didn’t know how I was doing, it felt as though my heart was in the next room. I had been with Jennifer on each of the visits to Iowa City & knew the major concerns. Soon after they had taken her away there was a man that ran past with a large duffel bag with a red cross on it. Ten minutes later he ran past again still carrying the bag. Sitting there not knowing what was going on wondering, worrying, I thought I had cried out all of my tears until the man ran by the third time, bag on his arm. The Lord must have known it was all that I could handle because within minutes Truly’s doctor (Dr. Segar) came in the room with a smile on his face.
     He knelt down beside me, put his arm on my shoulder and said "both are doing as well as can be expected". He quickly told that Truly’s heart & lungs were far stronger than they had originally anticipated them being. This gave a glimmer of Hope. He then began to tell that Jennifer had lost a tremendous amount of blood and that while stable she wouldn’t be out of the woods until they were able to get the bleeding stopped. He told me that they were trying to do so without a hysterectomy but at that time nothing else seemed to be stopping it. He assured me that their best doctors were doing everything they could and that she was in good hands. We then both stood he patted me on the shoulder and walked out of the room. The good hands that she was in could not even be seen.
     My mom called me soon after and said they were just pulling in and asked where to find me. About an hour after they were there Dr. Segar came in and gave an update. He told us that they had ended up doing a partial hysterectomy but they had gotten the bleeding stopped. They had given her 31 units of blood, 10 units of platelets, & 10 units of plasma. She seemed to be doing fine and they were just finishing up the surgery. She had been in for just over five hours but it seemed like an eternity. He told that Jenn would be in ICU for the next few days, and that they would begin running tests on Truly the next morning.

     We found our way to the ICU waiting room where the Lord had a small corner open for the three of us. The next morning Jenn’s parents came down to be with us. Throughout the day we were able to go in and see Jenn for short visits even though she was still unconscious. She had a tube down her throat, hoses coming out everywhere, IV’s in both hands, her neck was bruised and swollen from the transfusions. After seeing Jenn, we were able to go and see Truly for the first time. I got in trouble for taking a picture with my cell phone. The nurse chewed me out because the cell phone can interfere with the respirator. The doctors in the NICU were still optimistic, but were waiting for results on some of the tests. All we could do was wait and pray.

Truly--Part 5

     Being back at home was such a blessing.  Many sacrificed their time and energies to make sure that the kids were well taken care of and I could rest when I needed to.  Our church held its annual Thanksgiving meal and praise service. We were reminded of the blessings of a great church family and the unity that we have through the Holy Spirit.  During the praise service, one lady sang a special that was particularly moving. The words stated: "God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, So when you don't understand, When you can't see His plan, When you can't trace His hand, Trust His heart."  I wept hearing that precious reminder.  I was so thankful for a God who is so good.
     We spent Thanksgiving Day with Stephen's aunt and uncle and other family members.  We enjoyed the day together and ate a wonderful meal.
     Things were staying stable as far as the pregnancy was concerned.  We had other doctor's appointments, (including the dreaded sugar test that I never pass!) and consultations.  Our options were laid on the table.  We could choose to have a hysterectomy, which would be much safer, or we could request that the doctor's try and save my uterus, but the risks were much higher. So, we went ahead and requested that they do a hysterectomy.  I had always thought that hysterectomy was a wrong choice, but faced with the other option, we felt it was best.
     I had forgottent to mention earlier about our "World Wide Web".  Our 2 humble families have very far reaching influence.  We started receiving cards, messages and phone calls from people all over the country that were praying for us. What a blessing to hear from them and know that others were praying on our behalf.
     The first week of December came.  Our help had dwindled down to a few people and often people would just come and get the kids a take them for the day. I understood.  People had their own lives to lead and needed to tend to their own homes as well.  I felt lost, however.  I needed to be with my kids as much as they needed to be with me.  A stranger is going to be more lenient with discipline.  (My 1 year old learned to say "No" during this period!)  It was a crucial training time. On the morning of December 4, Stephen left the house early in the morning to take the kids to someones  house.  I sat down on the couch and cried.  These last few months had seemed like an eternity.  How could we keep going on like this for another month?  I cried out to the Lord and begged Him to help me make it through this time. 
     I didn't keep a journal of every day events during this time, but I did have a small notebook that I wrote scriptures that spoke to my heart and lyrics of songs that the Lord would bring to my memory.  During this time I wrote out the words to a song I remember listening to as a teen:  "Carry me, carry me, won't You carry me now.  I'm too weak and fragile to walk on my own. I'll rest in Your love 'til once more I can stand To journey beside You and follow You home.  I've heard you, my child, and I'll carry you now. For you're too weak and fragile to walk on your own.Come, rest in My love 'til once more you can stand To journey beside Me and follow Me home."What a comfort music can bring to the troubled soul!

      That evening, we went and picked up the kids.  It was nice to get out of the house and see Christmas lights up.  The kids were excited to tell us about their day and we were happy to see them. After they got to bed, Stephen and I watched a movie that he had borrowed from his mom and dad.  During the movie I kept my eye on the clock as well.  I was having mild contractions at regular intervals.  I took a bath and hoped they would stop as I went to bed.  I prayed that if I needed to go to the hospital the Lord would make that known to me. I woke around 3 a.m. and went to the bathroom. I passed a rather large clot-- danger sign! (The Lord knows me so well!  He knew I wouldn't go unless it was really an emergency! )  I woke Stephen and called an ambulance.  Our neighbor is on the ambulance crew and came right over.  The ambulance arrived, and after taking my vitals we left for our small, local hospital.  When we arrived I was whisked into a room and started medication to try and stop the contractions.  That help a little bit, but we knew I needed to be in Iowa City. Life Flight was considered, but due to inclimate weather we had to go by ambulance (a 2 hour drive reduced considerably by the 80 mph ride!). I was placed in a room right next to the operating room.  Now it was time to wait.  We didn't know how long.  It could be a month or as short as a few hours.  We just didn't know.  I didn't realize it, but all during that day the nurses were prepping me for surgery.  An anesthesiologist discussed matters with me and an extra large "port" was put in my arm all in preparation, just in case.

     After a few hours, I was taken downstairs and they attempted to draw off some of the amniotic fluid to try and relieve the pressure to stop the contractions.  It seemed like they drew out about a gallon, but it didn't make any difference.  Around 7 p.m., I felt a gush of fluid and frantically called the nurse.  I had started hemorrhaging. I was immediately whisked into the operating room.  I looked at Stephen as I was taken away.  I had never seen his face so white.  I can remember laying on the operating table, quoting over and over in my mind: "God is a refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble"  Psalm 46:1.  It was the only time I had ever been under the operating lights that I felt extremely cold.  I was losing a lot of blood.  I started praying that they would put me out soon.
      Meanwhile, Stephen called his mom and dad.  They were in prayer meeting but were listening for the phone.  As soon as they heard about me, they stopped the service and went to prayer.  A leader in the church offered to take over so Dan and Elsie could leave to be with Stephen.
     I am amazed at our mighty God.  It is not just by chance that I started bleeding at 7 p.m. on a Wednesday evening.  Our family "prayer chains", we had learned, were very far reaching.  People all over the world were praying, even during those first hours.  God wanted people praying during that time. That moves me every time I think of it. 

Truly-- Part 4

     Our month and a half in Wisconsin with my family was hard.  It was great that I could rest and let my mom take care of the kids, but the time seemed to drag by. It was hard for Stephen and I to only talk on the phone.  It was hard to sit by and let others do all the work while I just reclined on the couch or bed.  I felt the best when I could get up and walk around, so I did occasionally, despite the warnings we had read.  I still was not under the care of a doctor yet which made me a little nervous at times. They had scheduled me to see one in Iowa City, so we would know then. 
    


Sidney, 5, Charity, 3, Harmony, 2, and Andrew, 1.



          It was a beautiful fall that year.  The weather stayed very warm and sunny long past September.  I think even Halloween was unusually warm.  The kids enjoyed being able to play outside, which in turn helped my mom with having young children in the house again.

     We had our next appointment in Iowa City for the amniocentesis.  Stephen met my mom and I there.  We made our way to the hospital and that all too familiar waiting room.  Amniocentesis is just a test where they draw off some of the amniotic fluid and test it to detect chromosomal abnormalities.  The results were inconclusive and really gave no indication as to what had caused these problems.  We also had our first appointment with the new doctor.  The hospital at Iowa City is a university hospital and therefore, is filled with interns who are learning and observing. However, we were assigned to the "Fellows" of the hospital-- the doctors who were experienced and on staff permanently.  The first thing that the doctor mentioned was concern for my condition due to my "advanced maternal age".  Good grief, I was only 36!  He made me feel like an old lady!  We discussed options for the birth.  We were told that if the pregnancy remained viable then they would want to deliver the baby at approximately 36 weeks which would bring us to early January for the delivery.  It seemed like a very long way off.  The doctor cautioned about taking it easy and resting as much as possible.  We scheduled another appointment and another ultra sound in a few weeks and said our goodbyes.

     That month seems almost like a blur.  My mom and I did a lot of reading about genetic defects and also about placenta previa.  We were both of the mindset that if there were anything nutrition-wise that could be done to improve conditions, then we would do it.  Nothing we read seemed to help.  This was the time that we just had to trust that the doctors knew what was best.  We did know that I needed to have my blood in the best condition when the time came for surgery.  So, we started a juicing regimen. Every morning my faithful and hard working mom would get up and start cutting up carrots, apple, kale or spinach and beets to juice for me.  Yes, it was pretty nasty, but there was a purpose, so I kept to it.  I had also read that cayenne pepper is a great blood builder, so I started taking it by the capsule. Anything to help strengthen my blood and prepare it for major surgery would help.
     One particular memory that sticks out in my mind took place in church.  My dad was the pastor of a new group of people who had just established their church and were working on the constitution and by-laws.  In Sunday school, my dad would go over the basic tenets and give Biblical background and reasoning for each of them.  The Sunday that is so vivid in my memory was the morning that they were covering the sanctity of life and the importance of life in the womb.  It cemented our decision to let the baby live.   Truly was a little life inside of me, and to end that life for any reason would be wrong.   I have implied that our faith never waivered during this time, but there were many times of doubt and uncertainty.  In the face of death, you often question even the most basic principles that you have stood firm on for so many years  We are thankful that the Lord continually reiterated His truth to us and preserved us from making a wrong decision.
     Our next doctor's appointment came. We were scheduled for another ultra sound to check how things were going and we were also to meet with the neonatal doctor.  The ultra sound showed no changes, which was good and we received some good news, the doctor we met with told us that they really don't recommend complete bed rest anymore.  The risks of getting up and moving around were less than the risk of just letting your muscles become useless.  Stephen was thrilled.  He thought that if we could find people to help me at home, then we could return to a somewhat "normal" life again. 
     After meeting with the  OB doctor, we met with the doctor in charge of the neonatal department (neonatal referring to babies that are born prematurely). He basically told us about the care that they provide for premature babies and prepared us for what things may be like.  Not knowing Truly's condition, we couldn't know ahead of time how long she would have to be cared for, but knowing what to expect helped us.  It also put our minds at ease to meet this man.  He was very caring and understanding and expressed such great concern for me and the baby that we were encouraged by what we had come to learn.  No matter what her condition, we knew that she would receive the best care at this hospital.
    We decided to go home to Missouri.  Stephen came and got us.  His mom had rallied the ladies at our church and had a list of those who would be willing to care for the kids and help me around the house.  We came home to an immaculate home.  Ladies had come and done fall cleaning for us.  I was embarrassed to see that they even cleaned the hidden places that I had left "until after the baby is born" or "until he/she is sleeping through the night". There were even flowers planted outside my back door.  Men had come and helped Stephen move Andrew's crib downstairs and all the kid's dressers downstairs as well, so I  didn't have to go upstairs.
   The first day home, my mother-in-law came over and we started working on getting the kids' winter clothes out.  Another lady showed up with lunch and offered to start ironing all the clothes that had been stored away. Wow, you can get a lot done in a day with 3 adults working!  We also entered a new phase in our family life. I was usually the one to tuck the kids into bed every night, but since I wasn't supposed to use the stairs, Stephen took over.  There were often nights where I heard the kids jumping on the beds with Stephen  before they settled down to pray and sleep! Happy memories.
     Our next doctors appointment was a little different.  We were being sent for a consultation with the doctors who would be doing my surgery.  Due to the delicate nature of the operation, we would be meeting in the oncology department.  They had a special OB division of that department. I had no clue what oncology meant, but got a little scared when we arrived at the waiting room.  No longer a sunny, happy waiting room full of mommys-to-be.  We were in the cancer ward.  The waiting room was dark and sullen.  Very quiet, with no televisions on. Many people were wearing bandannas or hats on their bald heads. Some patients looked very ill, others were crying.  Some gave me odd looks as they glanced at my very bulging belly.  We didn't belong here.  I think just seeing that waiting room gave us a glimpse of how dangerous this situation was.
     We were sent to a consultation room where we were to meet the doctor assigned to us,  Doctor Buekers.  The nurse had also given me a list of all the doctors that were on staff.  They worked on rotation, so when the surgery was officially scheduled, the one on duty that day would perform it.  I looked down the list of names and one unusual one popped out at me: Dr. Goodheart.  I pointed it out to Stephen and joked that he sounded like a good doctor.  We would soon come to know how true those words were.

Truly-- Part 3

     The day of our ultra sound in Iowa City came.  We live almost 2 hours from there, so we had to get going pretty early.  My mother-in-law offered to watch the kids for us and Stephen took off work that day so we could go together.  We were headed into unknown territory and were a little apprehensive.  Iowa City is not a huge city, but much larger than the rural area we live in.  The hospital alone seemed like a city in itself.  We arrived well before the appointment, but had some trouble finding the right floor.  We registered and then waited.  This was the OB wing of the hospital. It was a huge waiting room with lots of mothers-to-be sitting, looking at baby magazines and drinking the free bottled water offered at the desk.  It was a cheerful, bright room. Several televisions were on and everyone was happy.  We were called and sent to another waiting room to wait for somewhat of a consultation.  I think we sat there for about 2 hours. It was a very long wait, but good to sit and reflect and have some time for ourselves.
     We were called into another room for some kind of a consultation.  A very friendly nurse named "Stanley" talked with us a lot about deformities and common genetic problems that often occur.  She gave a lot of information and her demeanor made us feel at ease. We hoped the other nurses and doctors were just as accommodating.
     We were sent back to the waiting room to wait for the ultra sound appointment.  After another 2 hours, finally, we were called into the ultrasound room. The technician made me comfortable and we got started.  I was impressed by the screen on the ceiling that enabled me to view the scan as it was going on.  I tried to decipher what was being said, hoping for some good news. I heard her say that the baby did have a 3 vesseled cord.  What a relief, that was the major concern with the last ultra sound. We thought things were okay and the last diagnosis was all a mistake.
     After the ultra sound was over we sat and waited for the doctor.  She finally came in and had 2 other nurses with her.  She began to tell us about the results that they had found.  She pointed out that the placenta previa had most likely become placenta accreta, a much more serious condition.  Because of the previous c-sections, the placenta was lying against the scar.  From what I have understood from research, the placenta is alive and growing and will adhere itself to anything it touches.  It was obvious from the ultra sound that the placenta had most likely grown through the scar and could potentially grow into the bladder, a condition called placenta percreta.  All of these can cause major bleeding when the baby is delivered or premature birth and bleeding if not managed.  She then went on to tell us that Truly had some major defects as well.  Her right arm was bent up and seemed fused in that position.  She had a nuchal fold thickness (back of the neck) that indicated downs syndrome or other brain damage.  There were also problems with her diaphragm, heart, stomach and spine.  The doctor then began to outline the options.  With the pregnancy problems and the problems with the baby, the basic point of her conversation was to suggest to us that we terminate the pregnancy, pointing out that the risk of maternal morbidity was very great and by the looks of the condition of the baby, it was most likely that she would not live beyond a few days after birth, if even she survived the rest of the pregnancy.  To say that we were stunned is an understatement.  The other nurses that were there must have been some kind of counsellors and they started their job of convincing us to make a decision that day.  We were not ready to  make any decision.  We knew that the Lord had given us this blessing and we were not going to end her life just because of this diagnosis.  We needed to talk to the Great Physician.
     Our drive home was silent. We called our parents to tell them that we were on the way home, but didn't give any particulars.  When we reached the road to go to my in law's house, I wanted to stand up and yell, "Don't turn, let's keep going". I didn't want to face the reality of what went on that afternoon.  I wasn't ready to deal with this.  But, we turned in and got out. It was great to see the kids.  We sat at the supper table with my in laws and discussed what we had found out that day.  We had no tears, but our hearts were heavy.  We returned home and put the kids to bed and started researching again. I called my parents and we discussed what should be done. According to all that we had read about placenta previa, bed rest was what was usually required.  How could I possibly take care of my 4 young children from bed?  We decided that  my dad would drive down from Wisconsin and come get the four kids and I so my  mom could care for us until something else could be done.  So, that evening and the next morning Stephen helped me pack our clothes and get ready to go.  My dad arrived sometime in the morning and we got ready to go.  My son, Sidney, had just started learning to read and wasn't real proficient at it yet.  He was fussing around at his desk before we left.  As we walked out the door he handed a piece of paper to my dad.  On it was this simple, yet profound message scrawled in his first grade handwriting:

There is no doubt in my mind that my dad still has the original of this.  I had Sid rewrite one for me to keep.

     It was a message sent to us directly from the Lord.  No matter what happened, we knew that whatever God allowed was for our good and for His glory.

Truly-- Part 2

    

Truly's Profile
Psalm 139:14 "I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."

     The day of my doctor's appointment finally came.  As I said before, I was dreading the comments from the nurses and the doctor's joke about "I didn't think I'd see you this soon...".  I didn't have to wait in the waiting room very long before my name was called.  The nurse went through the usual pre-exam routine, including the urine test that confirmed that we definitely were pregnant (obviously, I was already showing!).  The doctor came in and went through the questions to determine approximate due date.  He then tried to find a heartbeat, and sure enough, there was that familiar sound... relieving.... precious.  He expressed concern about the unusual vaginal discharge and said we needed to schedule an ultra-sound as soon as possible to check for any problems.  This was a Friday afternoon and the chances of getting in before the weekend were pretty slim.  They called over to the hospital and there was an opening right away. So I headed across the street to the hospital.  I wished my husband could have come with me for moral support (as he usually did in the past when we went for ultra sound), but this was his busy time of the year, and he couldn't get off right away.
     I checked in at the hospital and went to the waiting room.  I was surprised and pleased to see my husband's uncle sitting there. It was a blessing to chat and have a moment to relax and forget about being nervous!  The Lord knew I needed to see a familiar face!
     I was called into the ultrasound room.  The nurse greeted me and proceeded.  I had been through many ultrasounds before and this one was very different.  Usually the nurse is very chatty and commenting about the baby, etc.  As soon as the nurse began, she was absolutely silent through the entire process.  As soon as she was done, she jumped up and said she needed to get the results to the doctor before he left for the weekend.  My heart was in my throat.  She sent another nurse in to show me the baby (confirming what I already knew-- a girl!).  Her cheerfulness seemed forced and fake.  She gave me a few pictures to take home with me.  As I drove home, I considered what I thought could possibly be the problem.  I stopped in the grocery store parking lot and cried to the Lord and yielded to whatever the future held.  If Truly were handicapped in any way or had downs syndrome, we would love her and take care of her the best that we could. 
     It was the longest weekend of my life.  I expected that if there were a real problem that the doctor's office would have called me on Saturday.  So by Sunday, I had convinced myself that nothing was wrong and I was worrying over nothing.  Monday morning, the phone call came and they asked me to come in right away that morning.  I was very nervous.  The doctor met with me and said that there were quite a few concerns that the ultra sound brought to light.  He mentioned, in reference to me, placenta previa, which I knew nothing about and he also mentioned a 2 vesseled umbilical cord in Truly which often indicates brain and abdominal problems (the umbilical cord usually has 3 vessels in it).  He said that our local hospital's ultra sound was old and not as accurate as could be, so he was going to recommend that we go to Columbia for a consultation and more viable ultra sound.  I must tell you that I am not a verbal person at all and usually very compliant, but I spoke out at that moment and said that I would prefer to go to Iowa City, a town which is closer and we were more familiar with.  The doctor said that they had been having problems getting appointments there, but they would try.  Providentially, there was an appointment available that week.  Little did we know how important it was that we be at that hospital.
    The first thing I did when I got home was to look on the internet and research all the unfamiliar terms that he had told me about.   I learned that placenta previa is where the placenta (sac that holds the baby) sometimes is too long and can cover the opening of the womb and hinder the birth of the baby. I also learned that those with previous c-sections (that included me!) were in a different class in that the placenta could "grow" into the c-section scar tissue, causing serious complications, even death.  I also researched about the 2 vesseled cord.  It did raise some concerns.  We would just have to wait for the next ultra sound....  We also called our families and told them a little about what was going on and asked them to pray.

We called her Truly....

     In writing this blog,  I have tried to stress the importance of making your health your responsibility and not running to the doctor for every little symptom.  I like to encourage the practice of self-diagnosis and healing when you are able to.  However, I have learned that there are times when you have to trust the doctors and let them do what needs to be done to help you.     I had to learn that in a very hard way.
     We all celebrate this time of year by remembering the birth of the Lord Jesus in the manger in Bethlehem.  Our family, however, also celebrates another birth of a special gift that was sent to us a few years ago.  This is Truly's story...
     In the summer of 2007, I had been having some unusual symptoms.  I had been pregnant 3 years in a row and was denying all the signals that were being sent to me.  I had a very unusual vaginal discharge and just chalked it up to the fact that my hormones were messed up from having so many pregnancies in a row.  I finally broke down and took that dreaded pregnancy test. Of course, those familiar pink lines appeared.  It was just before I went to visit family for a little vacation, so I had my cry about it, and then told all of them.  My sister said, "I knew it!" and everyone was very happy and quick to congratulate us on another baby on the way.  When I returned home I called the doctor's office to make an appointment.  I was not looking forward to the hushed conversations of the nurses as they looked at my chart and whispered among themselves.  Nor did I relish the thought of the doctor's questions and concerns.  As "fate" would have it, the doctor was booked and had no free appointments until late September.  Later we would understand that this was part of the Lord's plan.
     As soon as our church family and friends knew of our expected event, we were greeted with the usual comments.  We were encouraged by the favorable compliments and the promises of prayer.  We were humored by those who joked about "Don't you know what causes that?".  We were discouraged by the comments and criticisms by those who frown upon large families and are worried about overpopulation.  When you have a large family, you hear all of these and get used to them.
      By all accounts, things seemed normal, but I knew that something just didn't seem right.  As I waited for that first appointment, we prayed our usual prayers for a safe delivery and healthy baby.  I was in my second year of homeschooling our oldest son and I also had a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a 1 year old.  Yes, life was extremely busy, never a dull moment, and exhaustion was a constant companion. 
  While visiting my family, I got to go shopping.  While at a thrift store, I found a cheap copy of "Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang" and purchased it. I had remembered watching it as a kid and wanted to share it with my kids.  While sorting laundry one day, I watched it.  One of the characters in the  movie is called "Truly Scrumptious".  As soon as I heard that, I was reminded of the first time I saw the movie as a teenager and I had told my  mom that I wanted to name a baby "Truly".  I knew at that moment, without a doubt, that the baby I was carrying was a girl and that we would name her Truly.
....to be continued....