"Give us this day......"

    

      I have been doing more reading lately on the benefits of homemade, real bread.  I found an interesting article that was rather lengthy, but gave a lot of sound advice.  So, the next few blogs will be based on this.

     When contemplating any issue, we should always start at the Source of all Life.  I was amazed to look in my Strong's concordance and see the word "bread" mentioned hundreds of times in Scripture.  We often picture God as a big vending machine, handing things out when we pray for them.  When we pray "Give us this day our daily bread,..", without even realizing it, we are asking for so much more than just a loaf of bread to be handed to us.  The Lord made that very clear in His Word, and we need to understand His meaning of this passage.

     Those who are scholars in the area of the study of Scripture and the proper interpretation of it have a special way of finding the importance and meaning of a certain topic.  It is referred to as the law of first mention.  The first time that a word/topic is mentioned in Scripture often gives valuable insight into how God wants us to understand and apply that topic. Even in the simple area of our daily sustenance.  The first time that the word bread is mentioned in Scripture is found in the book of all firsts, Genesis.  As Adam and Eve are expelled from the garden of Eden, God is telling them the consequences of their sin.  "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return to the ground; for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return." Genesis 3:17-19    
     The last time that bread is mentioned in scripture is also significant.  In II Thessalonians 3:11-13 Paul is exhorting the believers and tells them "For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all but are busybodies.  Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread."   Isn't it interesting that the word "work" is in the same phrase as "bread" in both passages?  It is obvious from these passages that bread is not to be received without labor.  When we pray for our daily bread, we are really praying for the work that should accompany that!
     Think about Jesus, after He fasted for 40 days and was tempted of the Devil.  Remember how Satan told Him to turn the stones into bread?  Jesus knew that the act of making bread in that way would go against the basic laws that God had laid down at the beginning for bread!  Think of the children of Israel in the wilderness.  Even the manna from heaven required work before it could be eaten.  God equates daily bread with work so that we will appreciate and thank Him for the abilities that He has given us to acquire it.
      When you give thanks for your food, think of all the work that went into it.  Not just the "hands that prepared" the meal, but what about the one who brought in the paycheck so you could buy it?  What about the laborers who picked the grain, or the trucker who drove it to the store?  Did you put a lot of work into your bread today?  True daily bread should be made and eaten on the same day. How long has that loaf from the store been on the shelf?  True satisfaction of any food comes with the amount of work put into it.  Which would taste better to you, a frozen factory-made lasagna or a homemade one made with home grown tomatoes, hand rolled noodles, fresh from the farm mozzarella and farm raised beef?  My mouth is watering just thinking of that second one!  Our society is suffering from the lack of satisfaction that comes from working for what we consume. 
     So, how hard did you work for that loaf of bread today?  Try putting some elbow grease into a ball of dough and then bake it and enjoy the satisfaction of a hard earned loaf of bread!

*Just had a thought, it seems unusual to me that the word we use to describe sitting around doing nothing is "loaf".  Hmm, wonder where that came from?  I'll have to research that one!

    

Foods that Heal: Garlic

 

  I am starting a few articles on specific foods that are great for healing all kinds of ailments.  When approaching health care from a natural viewpoint, we need to have our "medicine cabinet" stocked with things that will prepare us for any illness that may come along.  Garlic, in my opinion is the best healer by far.
     I could write pages and pages of the benefits of garlic and the ailments that it can heal.  Any sickness or infection can be thwarted with the super power of garlic.  It has often been called Nature's Antibiotic.  If I were leaving today for a foreign country, I would take garlic with me to plant.  It has super potent power and is readily available when there is no doctor.  I once told some missionaries who were fearful about going to a country that was infested with malaria, that they should take garlic with them.  They were rather taken back and said that they were worried about the social implications.  I laughed about it later, they were headed to a country where the people hadn't even heard of the concept of brushing their teeth or thought about personal hygiene.  Yes, garlic is a potent breath influence, but there are things you can do to cover it up, as we will discuss later.  Here are a few (of the thousands) ailments that can be healed with garlic:

1. Blood Pressure:  Garlic contains high amounts of natural sulphur which is great for regulating blood pressure.  It also stimulates the nerves and strengthens the heart. People who suffer from high blood pressure would benefit from including garlic in their daily intake of nutrition. If you are on blood pressure medication, do not go off of it without your doctor's permission, but begin taking the garlic and watch it's effects over a few weeks.  You and your doctor will be amazed.

2. Congestion: We often think of congestion in our head and nasal cavities, but many illnesses are caused by congestion in other parts of the body as well. For instance, your liver can be congested causing stomach and intestinal problems. You can have internal organs congested with all kinds of toxic build-up that can cause many different types of symptoms.  Garlic is a blood purifier, it helps restore equilibrium in your body and helps to empty your body of the waste that is plugging you up.

3. Cold and Flu: We already mentioned the power of garlic to rid your body of congestion, so the next time you feel a cold coming on, try taking some garlic and see if you can perhaps stop the illness in its tracks or at least minimize the effects and duration of the illness.  We will discuss how to use/take garlic later on.

4. Diarrhea: This is a nasty subject, but something that many people suffer from and often don't know the cause.  Those in foreign countries are more susceptible to this illness and often are endangered by it's results.  Many people die of amoebic dysentery, which can be healed with garlic.  The bacteria cannot withstand the power of the sulphur in the garlic, so your body has extra healing power to rid the infection.  Coupled with charcoal (yes, black stuff from a fire!), you can heal serious diarrheal problems very quickly.

5. Arthritis, Blood poisoning, Insect bites, Mono, Parasites, Pimples, Pneumonia, Skin infections, Throat infections, Thrush, Vaginal Infections,  Wounds, Yeast infections.........Yes, the list is unending. Garlic is a super powerful food that can heal many problems.  The question is, "How do you use it?"

Ways to take/use Garlic: The best way to use garlic is to use it in its raw form. That is when it is the most powerful.  Cooking garlic can reduce the effects and often make it powerless to heal a strong infection. Garlic is very strong tasting.  You can chop it up and put it in a teaspoon of honey.  You can also mince it and put it in salsa and eat it with corn chips.  It adds a little zing to your salsa but is a very easy way to eat it.  If you are able to, you can even just swallow a chunk whole.  Usually if I have a particularly bad infection, I will try to take 2 or 3 cloves a day.
     Garlic can also be used externally.  For a skin infection, simply crush 4 or 5 cloves, place them between paper towels and pour very hot water over it.  Let it cool slightly and apply to the infected area.  This is very effective even for congestion of the lungs, bladder infection, infected wounds or skin ailments.  Use caution, however, on children's tender skin. Garlic is very strong and can cause irritation or blistering. Keep the poultice on for a few minutes at a time, checking for irritation.   Those of you that suffer with pimples might try taping a slice of garlic to one overnight and seeing the results in the morning.
     There are  more socially acceptable forms of garlic available.   Kyolic Garlic is a pill form of dried "odorless" garlic.  Though not as potent as raw garlic, it is easier to take and is effective in some ways.  Those that suffer from high blood pressure would benefit from taking one pill three times a day.
    The problem of "garlic breath":  To transform garlic breath, simply eat a generous amount of raw parsley, or chew on a clove bud or a cinnamon stick.  You could also rinse out your mouth with equal parts  of lemon  juice and water, or chew on an orange peel.  A drop of peppermint oil on the tongue is also very effective. I have found that when one takes large amounts of garlic internally, the aroma can also be detected in the sweat.  So, if you are really sick, keep secluded!
     So, stock your medicine cabinet with garlic.  It will save you a lot of money when you don't have to buy antibiotics and will help you maintain your health.  Remember that garlic is very effective, but it is like all other good foods and vitamins, it does not work well by itself. If you eat garlic to heal something, but still eat sugar and junk food, the garlic will be useless.  It needs good, unprocessed, natural foods and plenty of water to help it work. Tap into the power of garlic and try it for yourself!

Vax-a-nation

     I have been dealing with a common childhood illness the past few weeks. (well, what used to be a common illness).  My kids have had the chicken pox.  We purposefully exposed them when some friends of ours had them about a month ago.  The kids were pretty miserable for a few days, though I kept my promise to let them watch movies all day. That really helped keep their minds off of the itching and discomfort. I'm not sure they would have chosen a shot over the illness!  Their cheerful spirits have returned and they are starting to scab over, so we are on the mend!     This whole process has made me review my beliefs about vaccines and the reasons I choose not to participate.  So, as a result, I did  a little research on not only the varicella vaccine, but on some of the others as well.

Reasons Why I Avoid Vaccinations



     1. Side Effects:  Have you ever read the lists of side effects that are given in the information that is included when you have your child vaccinated?  Of course, they are to assure you that these only happen in a very few children and they leave out the really dangerous ones.  Well, the US government has paid out more than $1.5 billion in its Vaccine Injury Compensation.  I'm pretty sure all that isn't for fevers and convulsions. The Vaccine Injury Compensation Program is to help families of children who have been permanently injured or killed by a vaccine. Health officials consider a vaccine to be "safe" if there are no immediate reactions.  There are NO long term tests done on vaccine side effects. So, basically, your child is the guinea pig.  We have all heard about the supposed link between autism and vaccines.  Isn't it interesting that before vaccines were nationwide, the rate of autism in children was 1 in 10,000 and now it is 1 in every 50!!!  Pharmacists have spoken out that since the introduction of the varicella vaccine, the cases of shingles in young children have shot up.  Shingles used to be an adult problem but has now become quite common in children.  I'd rather have chicken pox than shingles any day!  I could go on and on about food allergies, ADHD, neurological problems, social problems, and even crib death that often can be linked to vaccines.

     2. Vaccine Ingredients:  I think you would be shocked to know what is contained in the vaccines that are being injected into children as young as 3 days old.  Here are some of the ones that many people already know about:   formaldehyde, fluid from calf skins, chick embryonic fluid (which must be egg white??), monkey kidney cells, aluminum, and mercury.  The one that really disgusts me is this: human cells, human albumen and human diploid cells.  These human elements are not taken from dead people.  These are specifically listed as taken from aborted fetal tissue.  Yes, your children are being injected with aborted babies. Many people think that the abortion issue is just a moral issue. Why do you think that abortion is such a big deal?  It is because it is a huge money making industry.  The babies that are aborted are sold to vaccine companies and used to make vaccines. The very thought of that just makes me cringe. "The love of money is the root of all evil." --even abortion.

     3. My health is my responsibility, not the governments. We live in an age where everyone wants to blame their problems on someone else.  Many turn to others to take care of their basic needs and think that it is the governments responsibility to take care of them. including their health.  When one gets a sniffle, stomach ache or headache, we run to the emergency room to get immediate relief, in whatever form that may be. So, when the doctor tells us to do something, we do it without question.  If one is told that they need to have a vaccine, they get it. 
  

      4. Just plain common sense... Did you know that the hepatitis vaccine is given to newborns before they leave the hospital?  Did you know that this particular strain of hepatitis is a sexually transmitted disease?? Did you know that it is so concentrated it is like giving 30 shots to an adult??? So, why are we almost forced to inject a baby with huge amounts of aluminum???  I am just as baffled as you are, yet if you refuse the vaccine, they send a counsellor to your bedside to almost twist your arm into getting your child vaccinated.  I am teaching my children to live a morally pure life.  If they get this disease, it is their own fault! I can remember when the vaccine called "gardasil" first came out.  (This is the one for girls ages 9-26 to guard against HPV--also a sexually transmitted disease.)  The first ads in magazine gave pages and pages of information about this disease, including some interesting facts that were obscured in all the lingo. "Eating fruits and vegetables can lower your risk of hpv." What? You mean I could eat better and avoid this problem (besides practicing abstinence, also never mentioned!)?  I found a quote that so appropriately sums this all up: "The best vaccine against common infectious disease is an adequate diet." so perfectly stated by the World Health Organization. 

    
     I know that this is a very hotly debated topic with many other issues not mentioned above.  Please, if you do vaccinate, don't take this as an accusation or ridicule.  Just, please, be informed.  Don't stop reading.  Make informed decisions. Be aware of the dangers that are out there.  Be prepared for pressure from doctors and nurses and health departments.  Be willing to sign a "religious waiver", even if your reasons for refusing aren't entirely religious.  For more information, I recommend that you "like" Dr. Tenpenny on facebook.  She posts many interesting articles on this very subject.  Do some research of your own. There are many in the health care profession who also refuse to vaccine.  There are also companies that are offering non-abortive vaccines if you feel you must vaccine.  Again, be informed,  be prepared, and keep healthy!

Avoiding the after Christmas blahs....

     Yes, it's that time of year when everyone is having a party and you are invited. All that sugar and cream cheese and candy starts to take its toll on you and by New Years, you wonder why everyone is sick. Of course, when crowds of people get together, there is bound to be a virus floating around, but there are some things you can do to avoid what I call the "After Christmas Blahs".

#1.  Try to keep the sugar to a minimum. We all love to show off our culinary skills this time of year, and all of those traditional recipes are loaded with sugar.  Every gift you receive has something sweet in it.  When you are at a party or get together, don't load your plate with sweets.  Maybe try one or two of them so you don't overdo it. Even the drinks are loaded with sugar and will give you a high that will make you feel great at first, and then drop you later.  Remember that white flour, corn, potatoes and white rice also turn to sugar in your system, adding to the problem.  Some of the signs of sugar overdose are: dry mouth, dizziness, sleepy or sluggish feeling, and a  headache on your forehead.  Some things you can do to quickly bring your blood sugar under control are: drink a large glass of water, take a jog ( or some other form of exercise),  or eat some protein (nuts, eggs, cheese, meat). Cinnamon is also great for  regulating blood sugar.  Take a 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon in unsweetened apple sauce to help keep your levels normal.  My mother-in-law also gave me another suggestion.  She is freezing some of the holiday candies that she was given and saving them for later so she doesn't overdose on them now!

#2.  Eat something raw with the meal.  Those veggie trays are there for a purpose.  Eating something raw with all of that junk will add some raw enzymes to your digestive juices to keep things working. You will also benefit from the antioxidants that will keep your immunities up!  Carrots, celery and raw broccoli are also great sources of fiber to keep things running smoothly.

#3. Prepare for battle. You know that there are viruses and bacteria floating around you, so get your body ready to fight.  Start taking Vitamin C to boost your immunity.  If you feel like you are about to come down with something, start taking nature's own antibiotic: Garlic.  Taking 2 or 3 pills (Kyolic is a good brand at Walmart, doesn't make you smell like you have been eating garlic!) a day will help your body fend off the sickness and may even end one that has already started.  If you feel a sore throat coming on, drink hot tea with honey. The honey will soothe your throat, and the "hot" will help to kill the infection. Salt water is also a great virus killer. Gargling  with it (1 tsp. salt per 1 cup water) or using it in a nasal spray will fend off an infection and will quickly dry up mucous.

#4. Take advantage of your vacation time. In other words: RELAX.  Take that extra nap or sleep in some of the mornings.  We all stay up and out too late during this time of the year.  Not getting enough sleep is another way to make you more prone to illnesses.  If your body is tired, it doesn't have the energy to fight and it won't. 
 
#5 Fill your plate with better choices. Bean dip and salsa with corn chips is better than potato chips and sour cream dip.  Whole grain crackers and cheese will fill you up and keep you filled up much better than chocolate cake and ice cream.  Veggies and fruit will keep you energized and healthier and won't drag you down like punch and cookies.  Keep the sweets to a minimum and fill up on the better choices.

#6.  Watch out for food poisoning.  That crab salad or pasta dish may have been sitting on the table for an hour or more.  Be careful.  Mayonnaise can go bad very quickly.  If you are the hostess, place salads like these on ice so they can stay cold. We are very careful about paying attention to this in the summertime because of the heat, but when you get a large group of people in one area, the room can get just as warm as summer heat!  Make sure that food is properly cooked to the correct temperatures.  According to guidelines for safe food handling, meat dishes need to be cooled as quickly as possible.  Consider the food you serve if you are going to something where you know it will be sitting out for awhile. 

#7.  Don't gorge yourself.  Eat slowly, and chew your food completely.  When you feel satisfied, stop eating.  It is at these times of the year that the food is out all evening and we keep grazing the entire time and make ourselves miserable later.  If your stomach is too full, it can't do its job and you will end up feeling sick and possibly even getting sick.  Use a smaller plate (it tricks your brain into thinking you are eating a lot!), take tiny portions if you must try everything, and don't stand near the food!  If it is out of your line of sight, you will be less tempted to grab some!


     Of course, even when taking all of these steps, there will still be sickness floating around.  But, we may be able to avoid some of the down time by making smarter choices and being prepared for sickness to come.  Who knows, maybe you will be one of those who don't get it this year!

  

Truly--Conclusion

     Friday, December 13th, 2007 dawned and the sun was bright.  We had slept well, despite the heaviness in our hearts. We knew that today was the day that was bringing everything to culmination.  We wanted to be there for the doctor's consultation in the morning so we got up and had breakfast and headed to Truly's room. 
     I kept wondering how in the world I could ever tell the doctors what we had decided.  It choked me up just to think of it.  It really was a heavy burden on my heart, but I knew when the time came, the Lord would give me strength.  As the doctors walked in, I swallowed hard and got ready to speak.  At that moment my wonderful, strong, usually quiet husband stood up, addressed the doctor, and said "From what we understand, the surgery is only exploratory and Truly would most likely not survive it. We would just rather spend her last moments with her."  So it was decided that we would unhook her from the respirator that afternoon.  Those words, and the strength it took to say them, made my husband my hero for life and increased my respect for him ten fold.
     So, we called my parents. They were 4 hours away and thought they could be there by 3 p.m.  We planned to meet back at Truly's room after some lunch.  A family from our church stopped by to visit.  We were happy to see them and receive the encouragement we needed from them.  Mutual tears flowed as we told them about what was going on that day. I think they felt bad that they came to visit that day, but we were encouraged by their thoughtfulness.
     I was very nervous about that afternoon.  I had never seen anyone die before. I hoped that Truly would have no pain or show any sign of discomfort.  I wondered how long she would stay alive.  There were so many questions that would soon be answered.

     After lunch, we went back up to Truly's room.  The doctors came in and started to unhook the machines from her.  They were very gentle with her. They then placed her in my arms for the very first time.

All of her two and half pounds seemed like nothing as I gazed at her.  I was finally able to hug her, kiss her, smell that "new baby" scent. 
     There was not a dry eye in the room.  Stephen's mom and dad were there, as well one of his brothers and my parents.  The nurses and doctors gave us our privacy and left the room. This was a very private time for us together as a family.  Some unique things happened in that room, but they are personal memories. If you were standing outside the door that day, you would have heard much crying, yet also praying, normal conversation and yes, even some laughter.  We did not have to sorrow.  We knew we were seeing her off to the heavenly shore.  Our hearts were sorrowful to be parted from her, but we rejoiced that she was going to be with the One we loved.  It took about an hour. Each member of the family present in the room got to hold her during that time. We didn't know the exact moment when it took place but, she passed quietly into the arms of Jesus. Her little eyes that had never opened here on earth were now gazing upon our Saviour.  To think that  Heaven was the first thing she ever saw really moves me.
                                  "But just think of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven.

Of touching a hand and finding it God's

Of breathing new air and finding it celestial

Of waking up in glory, and finding it home."



Her little feet that never walked were now running and leaping on streets of gold.  Her little hands were no longer deformed and were serving her Lord.  Her voice that never spoke on this earth was now singing praises to the Lamb. What a glorious reunion that must have been.  It often brings me comfort to think of the people that greeted her there.  Perhaps her great grandmas and grandpas met her there at the gate, or her uncle, or some of the saints from our church. 

     As we left her room that day, we were emotionally exhausted.  I will never forget as long as I live seeing one of her regular doctors also wiping tears from her eyes.  She had come to love Truly as well and could feel our pain.

     We returned to her room later that night to discuss plans with the mortician.  The nurses had cleaned Truly and put a delicately crocheted gown on her. She looked so beautiful.  As we left the room, I glanced back and noticed the spot where there was usually a placard with her name on it.  They had replaced it with a picture of a butterfly.  What an appropriate picture of the transformation that had taken place.  She had passed from death to life, from imperfection to perfect beauty and had taken her flight up to heaven.

     We arrived home the next day.  Again friends had come in and not only cleaned up the house, but dug around in our storage area, found and set up our Christmas tree and decorations.  We met with the funeral director and  planned her funeral for the next week.  Stephen and I are both from rather large families.  All of our siblings had made plans months before this to be available for the Christmas holiday at this time of the year.  It wasn't just fate that allowed this to happen. Our loving Heavenly Father knew that it would be important for all of our family members to be there.  A sister from Washington D.C., a sister and family who were missionaries to Mexico, siblings from Illinois and North Carolina were all able to be present there with us.

    The morning of her funeral, we met as a family for a private viewing in one of the Sunday school rooms of the church.  The little children ran in and right up to Truly's casket, almost knocking her right out of it.  We had told them we were going to see Truly and they didn't quite understand. They turned around to see all of us crying and started crying themselves.  The hardest part of all of this that we went through was having young children have to go through the grieving process.  Their little minds have trouble comprehending the concept of heaven and the soul.  They had so many questions that we couldn't answer.  They often dealt with the problem in their own way. I remember seeing Sidney (then 6) and Charity (then 3) sitting down with their arms around each other. Charity was crying and I asked what was wrong. Sidney answered "We were playing that we had a baby die".  Oh, how that smote me to the heart, but I came to realize that playtime helps children prepare for real life. They had to play out the scenario to better understand it.

     The funeral service was beautiful.  I think most of our church family was able to be there as well.  We had asked a dear friend of ours to be the pallbearer. Her casket was so tiny, we only needed one.  Our friends sang "Safe in the Arms of Jesus" and "Finally Home".  Both of our dads preached the service.  It was beautiful.  The graveside was here in our hometown.  We stood in the snow and place her body in the ground.  Our kids placed flowers there. 

     To understand the next part of the story, I'll have to give a little background. Stephen runs his own business which includes lawn care and snow removal. His biggest contract is for a factory near us.  Each year, this factory, instead of throwing a Christmas party, chooses a Christmas family and donates money for that family.  To put it bluntly, we came home from the funeral, one of the hardest days for the kids especially, and saw this:

They had chosen us as their Christmas family. Even though Christmas was over a week away, we let the kids open the gifts: clothes and more toys than they could even imagine.  There was even grocery money and gift certificates.  We had been more than blessed.  And what perfect timing to have delivered this surprise.

     There is so much more that I could tell you about.  We were inundated with sympathy cards and letters, many from strangers that we didn't even know who told us of their prayers for us.  God provided a way for us to get a beautiful headstone at a fraction of the usual cost.  So many things that He did to prove over and over His goodness to us.

     We originally chose the name "Truly Hope" because we knew that there is always hope with the Lord.  We were encouraged and given new hope when she was born and it appeared that the problems first expected were not as severe.  Yet, even in death, there is hope. We know that we will see her again someday when we take our own flight to heaven.  There is true hope only in Christ.

      We have not written this story to boast or brag.  We don't know why the Lord chose us to go through this trial.  We only want people to know how good our God is.  So many little details that He orchestrated to happen that enriched our lives and gave us confidence in our relationship with Him.  Our own faith is so frail.  There were times that the waves seemed like they would overwhelm us and the wind would capsize our tiny ship.  The lightning and the thunder often caused us to cower in fear.  Yet, the Anchor of our soul was sure and steadfast. He was always there when we cried out for help. We know without a doubt that our God is good, and He sent the storm to make us strong.

   

 "....I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.  When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel........."  Isaiah 43:1-3

" Truly God is good...." Psalm 73:1

To the glory of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ:

Stephen and Jennifer Deatrick

whataileththee@gmail.com

Truly--Part 8

    I would be remiss if I did not tell you about the excellent care that Truly was receiving.  The first time I was able to go see her, the attending nurse told me about everything that was connected to her and how it was helping her.  Every monitor and device had a purpose, and I was able to learn what everything was for. Every nurse was extremely confident in what he/she was doing.  I could tell from the way that they cared for her with such delicacy, yet such experience. They told  me that she was rather feisty and didn't like certain things that they did.  If she was "bothered" she would kick her legs defiantly! We were also very confident in the team of doctors in the NICU. From the first day that they knew what it was, they referred to her by name. She was never called "the baby" or "your daughter", to them she was always Truly. They had a consultation every morning among all the doctors that were caring for her and they let Stephen and I be a part of it.  Nothing was hidden or kept from us. We knew all that was going on. Before every test and scan we were informed of what the purpose was and afterwards what the results were. 
 

     One of our favorite memories of Truly happened after one such test.  We walked into her room one evening and noticed something different--quiet.  They had put her on a different respirator so she could be moved for one of her scans and they had not put her back on the "Model T" yet.  We went to our usual spot near her and talk to her and spend some time with her.  She was much more active that evening.  Her eyes were moving behind her eyelids and she seemed to know we were there.  It was getting very late and we had to return to my room so Stephen said "Well, Truly, we need to go to bed. We're tired. Goodnight, sweetheart". At that moment, as if on cue, Truly yawned.  What a precious memory!
     The doctors over my care had graciously moved me from my room in the surgery recovery wing over to the OB wing so I could be just around the corner from Truly.  It had a double bed so that Stephen could sleep better (chairs are not too comfortable!).  I have such precious memories of those few days we had together talking a laughing and spending time with Truly.
      By now, I was getting stronger by the day.  I was eating normal food and had actually taken a shower (heavenly!).  By Wednesday evening, all of my "tubes" had been removed.  The head nurse came in to tell me that they were supposed to discharge me that evening.  However, there was an extreme ice storm going on outside.  The "hotel" in the hospital (for families of long term patients) was full and the conditions outside were deadly, so she informed me that I was officially discharged, but they would let us stay in the room that night so we had somewhere to sleep. The next morning, we inquired  if there were any rooms available in the hotel and there was one available.  What a great service to those who need it.  It was only $15/night and just as nice as any Holiday Inn we had ever stayed in.  Stephen's mom and dad decided to stay with us.  We were to have a consultation with another doctor and we had some decisions to make concerning Truly.  A surgeon met with us and told us about an exploratory surgery that they could try. Basically, after doing several tests, they concluded that there really were no intestines in her body. The exploratory surgery would just confirm that. The surgeon made it very clear that the chances of her even surviving the surgery were very slim.  Some other problems had arisen.  The feeding tube that was sustaining her could usually be kept in for months, but where hers was, her leg was beginning to swell with some sort of infection. Her skin seemed to have taken on somewhat of a yellowish tint.  I knew in my heart that she was failing.
     We went out to eat that evening and it was like I had been given a new lease on life.  The trees were covered with ice from the storm and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  The Christmas lights seemed dim in comparison to the light reflected in the trees. As we were eating, we got a few stares.  I had packed an open necked shirt in my bag in preparation.  As mentioned before, I had huge purple and black bruises on my neck and shoulder.  People looked compassionately at me, but stared daggers at Stephen!  We also went shopping and got some other clothes to get us through the next few days.  I also picked out a pretty pink blanket for Truly.
        I had, in the past, always had a skeptic outlook on doctor's decisions.  I knew (and still know) that there are doctors out there who just prescribe medicines and treatments to cover up symptoms, instead of treating the actual source of the problem.  The Lord knows me so well.  He took care of my doubts in a very special way.  My parents live in Wisconsin.  On one particular evening, they were watching the 10 p.m. news and at the end of the broadcast, the new reporter told a story about some doctors from the University of Iowa Hospital NICU team.  The night of the deadly ice storm, these doctors heard about a preemie that had been born a few hours away, but because of the storm could not be moved. These doctors risked their lives to go to the other hospital to give that baby the care he needed.  It wasn't just by chance that the Milwaukee station aired that story.  My dad called me the next day and told me about the story and said "Jenn, you can trust these doctors." My Lord knew I needed to hear those words.  I still weep when I think of how good God is in doing that just for me.
      As we went to bed that night, our hearts were heavy.  The words were not spoken, but we knew that Truly's time was near.  It was up to us to decide how that would be. It was quite a burden to think that we had to  make that decision in the morning when we met with the doctors again.

Truly--Part 7

Stephen continues...


     Eight years earlier I was carrying an engagement ring in my pocket waiting for Jennifer to come visit for Christmas where I planned to ask her to be my wife. She said yes and six months later we were happily married. Though I loved and treasured her with all my heart some times you don’t know what you have until you are faced with losing it. I was horrified the night before at that thought, the four young children already at home who needed their mother and now one who very much needed our prayers. The Lord had given Jennifer to us once, & now He was allowing us to keep her. She was still unconscious in the ICU but we were told by the doctors that they were keeping her that way until the breathing tube was removed. We were only allowed in the ICU for ten minutes at a time to see her and only three times a day. This made for very long days.
     Upstairs in the NICU our little treasure was fighting hard. The first day the doctors were very encouraging explaining all of the tests that were being run. Still, it seemed they were holding back some of what I felt they were wanting to say. We were free to come and go in the NICU and spent much of our time there. However I had been warned about the cell phone being on in the room and we were in the middle of a snow storm at home. With me in Iowa City I had to rely on my 16 year old brother, my cousin, and several friends to push the snow we were contracted to remove.
     My parents headed home later Thursday evening while Jenn’s parents stayed with me. Another night cramped in the ICU waiting room trying to get comfortable enough to get some sleep. Friday evening they let Jenn wake up but the tube remained in her throat. We were only able to communicate with yes or no questions. We tried to catch her up on the condition of Truly which ,unfortunately, was ever changing. The doctors had gotten results back from some of the tests. The outlook was beginning to turn in a different direction. They told us that they were beginning to see problems with her intestinal tract and that there were going to be more tests to run. Of course this meant more waiting.
     Saturday morning we met with Jenn’s doctor and he gave us the good news that later in the day they would be removing the breathing tube. Not yet sure how long we were going to have Truly, My mother with some friends brought our other children up to see their new sister. Jenn’s parents were then going to take the kids on up to Wisconsin and keep them as long as they needed. Excited about getting to see the kids I went in to see Jenn and tell her what was going on. Tube still in her throat and tears in her eyes she let me know she didn’t want the kids to see her in this condition. When the kids arrived we took them to see Truly and we were about to say our good byes when they let us know they had just removed Jenn’s breathing tube. Jenn was conscious, and again able to communicate. The Lord is ever with us.


Jenn back writing again....
     I vividly remember two things after my surgery.  I remember cracking my eyelids open to see 2 doctors standing at the end of  my bed talking.  They saw me and said "Go back to sleep".  So I did.  I then remember waking up in what I would come to find out was the surgical wing of the ICU.  My first realization was that there was a large plastic tube in my mouth and going down my throat.  My super sensitive gag reflex kicked in and I started to panic. The attending nurse asked, "Oh, are you coughing?". I wanted to scream, "No, I'm gagging!" but couldn't.  I was able to settle down and look around me.  I felt pretty good, not too sleepy but a little worn out.  Stephen soon came in to see me, as did my mom and dad. I was very happy to see them all.  They showed me a picture of my little Truly that the nurses had hung on the bulletin board for me.  I wanted to see her so badly. 
     There are not many details of my three days in the ICU, because I slept through most of them.  On the second day, they tested to see if they could take out the breathing tube, but decided to leave it in a little longer.  I was anxious to be rid of it.  I craved a glass of water in the worst way. Occasionally the nurses would swab out my mouth with some nasty tasting mouth wash and then coat my lips with Vaseline. Yuk.  When I would move at all in bed, the tube would move too, so I learned to bite down on it with my front teeth to stabilize it.  I learned to communicate with hand signals, since there were IV needles in both hands making it hard to write. I can remember being very nervous about a new nurse who was being trained on me.  I hoped she knew what to do in an emergency. Finally, on the last morning, a whole team of doctors and interns came to my bedside and took out the tube (I'll spare you those nasty details).  As they were walking away, one asked, "What is your name?".  I croaked out "Jennifer", and we all smiled.  My kids were there that morning (being taken from one caretaker to go with  my parents to Wisconsin).  It was so great to see them!  I so badly wanted to go see Truly and hoped I would be able to soon.  I had been told by other moms who had preemie babies in the past how important skin-to-skin contact is for a preemie, especially with their mom.  I wanted to be there for her.
     On Saturday, I was moved to a real hospital room.  It was so great to be in a real bed.  My mother-in-law came to stay with me since Stephen had to go home to work over the weekend.  We had fun watching the Hallmark channel.  I still was not able to get out of bed.  I had inflated "stockings" on my legs to keep clots from forming, so I wasn't very mobile.  It felt like my legs were breathing.
     I believe that it was also on Saturday that several doctors came to visit me.  One of them was very quiet and told me that he was the doctor that had done my surgery-- Doctor Goodheart, and yes, this man does have a good heart!  He told me about the surgery and what had gone on. I think he visited me almost every day while I was there. I was told about the hysterectomy and all the bleeding.  They had to tie off two of my arteries in my legs to stop the blood flow.  That explained the "breathing" machine on my legs!
    

     The days passed and I was eventually strong enough to go to the NICU and see Truly.  We had to maneuver all of my tubes and IV's into a wheel chair.  It was such a precious moment to see her there for the first time. She was so much smaller than I could have imagined.  My arms ached to hold her, but with her condition, she had to be left lying.  I was a little troubled about the respirator.  It sounded like a model T and seemed to even rock the bed frame where she was lying.  The nurse explained about the special machine and assured me that it didn't bother her. I was exhausted and couldn't stay long, but promised to return soon.
     Many questions lingered in my mind concerning Truly.  There had been hope at the beginning that things were better than originally thought.  I wondered how long she would have to be there.  Would I be able to stay there with her? I really felt that we needed to get our life back to normal, but how soon that would be was still up in the air.